For most of us, this has to be the most dreaded shopping trip we will ever make. Swimsuit shopping! Staring at our naked bodies in a room with 360 degree mirrors? Who is the person who invented these mirrors and where can I find him so I kill him?!
Take some pressure off and go armed with these useful tips below as not every body is created equally…so why should our swimsuits be?!
Match your body type below to find the perfect suit just for you and your one of a kind fabulous body!
~ I have Justin Biebers Body ~
No Boobs, No bum, No hips, No problem!
Take advantage that you have nothing to hide and wear something skimpy! Looking to add a few curves? Choose styles with ruffles, horizontal stripes, and details. Avoid anything sporty!
~ I’ve have Kate Gosselin’s body Pre-op! ~
Cover up Stretch Marks and get an instant tummy tuck!
Try a suit with ruching. Not only is it supportive, but extremely forgiving! Plus they are all the rage these days, so you can be the trendiest mom at the pool!
~ I have Betty Whites Body ~
Don’t let Gravity get you down…no pun intended 😉
Gravity is an unfortunate part of life, but fortunately there are many ways we can disguise this natural disaster!
Push up the ladies by wearing halter tops or Crisscross Back straps. A top with a little padding will help everything look like it’s in the right spot.
There are plenty of supportive swimsuits out there designed to keep your rear where it belongs. Choose bottoms with full coverage such as briefs, hipsters, or boy shorts.
~I have Barbie’s body ~
We don’t like you. We will never like you. Wear whatever the hell you want!
~ I have Kim Kardashians Body (The one that’s been edited for Star Magazine) ~
A little extra Junk in the Trunk?
Camouflage your butt with strategically cut bottoms such as briefs, hipsters, or boy shorts. Choose a detailed bikini top to draw the eye up while keeping the bottom half solid in color, a dark shade is best unless you want to flaunt what your mama gave you!
~ I have Oprahs Body, without the access to a full style team ~
Fabulously Full Figured!
So many great designers are now making swimsuits for plus size woman. Take full advantage as they are the best at what they do and they design these swimsuits to help all your trouble areas.
Diagonal Stripes across the bodice will give you a leaner look, and draw attention to your beautiful face. Choose a suit with a high back for a smooth finish. A high neck line will give you the confidence to swim and play knowing that nothing is going to fall out!
Skirtinis are a dynamite option when trying to conceal inner and outer thighs. Plus they are super adorable, even the skinny bitches are wearing them!
LoL. The caption for the barbie type body!! Tooo funny!!
But my body type wasn’t captured in this :(, I have average boobs, small hips, and flat ass. Lol
http://www.cassiedaves.com
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Haha…And I’m sure you rock a swimsuit!
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Reblogged this on Bikini Magazine.
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Great post! Love the Barbie body😂! Comment😂!
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Haha…thanks!
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Hey dear! I love your blog 🙂
I was wondering if you’d like to review one of my products? I just launched my etsy business and would love to send you a free product if you could review it after you receive 🙂 🙂
Check out my latest post, all my contact info is on there 🙂 or just leave me a comment!
Thanks in advance!!!
Miranda
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I will be sure to check it out. Congrats on the new business 🙂
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Thank you 🙂 if you’d like me to send you out a product to review just email me your name and address to naturallykamdyn@yahoo.com
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I love this post! And I love your blog! That’s why I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award :). I’ve been a recent follower of yours and I just love reading your stuff! Click here for the details: http://trymepretty.wordpress.com/2014/05/28/me-nominated-for-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award-yahoo/
Always a pleasure reading your posts!
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Thanks 🙂
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I love the body type titles! The biggest part of me is the booty so when I go swimsuit shopping I’ll definitely keep your Kim K tips in mind!
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This post is fabulous! I’m currently debating new swimwear for an upcoming vacation, and the advice on this is perfect, while also being hilarious 🙂 x
http://prettysparklesxo.wordpress.com
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Awesome! Thanks 🙂
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Ha this was hilarious!!!! I love that you encourage people not to take image so seriously. Do you have any favorite brands? I love the Triangl bikini brand that is really popular lately but they are so expensive!
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I like your conversational supportive style of writing.
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Thank you! That means a lot to me 🙂
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Great post, it made me laugh! xx
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Great post, very funny!x
ps. thanks for the like and follow, means a lot!
http://telltaleheartblog.wordpress.com/
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😉 Cheers
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Love this! Hilarious post.
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Oh I wish I had a body type for swim suit in the first place! :p great post! 🙂
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I’m sure you would look stunning in a swimsuit!
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Loving the ‘body shapes’ and the advice is pretty good too! Xx
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🙂
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Love the different body types!! I would say mine is Kim Kardashians. But you’ve found some great choices for the types. xxx
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Kim Kardashian…Nice!
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Loved the body type titles – hilarious! Plus, ruching really is a tummies best friend!
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Thanks!
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